Last night was the 4th class for the Dave Ramsey thing...and I am getting excited...like there is actually might be light at the end of the tunnel excited. There are some great ideas floating around, and it is scary to get out of debit...it is hard work and it is going to be frustrating and we are going to have to give up a lot...but only for a short while...in 3-4 years, we could be debit FREE!!! SAY WHAT?????????????

Still haven't written that letter to myself....

I haven't been able to get into see a new therapist...scheduling issues and then she sounds so...young....I miss Katie...a lot. I wish I had money so I could go see her. Maybe that is something we can work out in the next year or so. I feel lost though, we were making such progress, and it was challenging me. I have really tried to get in to see the new therapist, hopefully that is something we can get done...soon.

The letter to myself scares me. It will take time, deep thoughts, and opening myself up to a whole lot of emotions that I have been working so hard at keeping down. I don't want to feel those things. I am scared of what will come of it....if I acknowledge these things, what will happen? Obviously I know the world will not stop turning, but I will change. And I am scared of what I will do after I change. What decisions will I be forced to make? I don't know if this is something I can do...