And a year and a half later.....Willie, my son, is a year old. Wes and I are doing much better. He has worked so much on his issues and is now trying to help me work on mine. It really comes down to the fact that I am a hot mess.

I have spent my life pretending to be this one type of person, and in doing so I have lost who I really am. Whenever issues arise I automatically resort back to my old self instead of trying to be who I really am-which has resulted in me having a very depressing life. Not because anything is wrong, but because I have made my life so difficult...

Instead of dealing with my issues and life, I built up this persona of a tough strong woman who knows who she is and what she wants...unfortunately I have no idea who I am, what I want, or what I believe. All I know is that I am very unhappy and something(s) need to change, or I am afraid that this pit will swallow me whole. I know something is wrong, I can feel it. I know that I need to make changes. I know that I need to discover something new...all of this is there in my body, my mind, my soul...I am just not sure how to go about it....

This will hopefully be about me discovering this thing, this realty, that I don't know anything about...this Spiritual awareness of who I am and hopefully that will result in some peace of mind.

I'll let you know how it works out....