I read the book Eat, Pray, Love...and I have to say it was one of the best books I have ever read. I loved her spiritual journey and related to it in so many ways. I felt as if the author and I were one..does that make sense in a non-creepy kinda way?

I have always thought meditation was helpful and, to me, one of the most rewarding spiritual acts. I have decided that I am going to combine my meditation and prayer time so that I am more aware of myself and what is going on in my heart, mind, and soul when I am praying and spending time with God.

I would give just about anything to travel where the author did and experience the life-changing events that she did. However, my life is more complex than that and I can't just get up and leave everything and everyone behind and go off on this spiritual journey. I need to do it right here at home-which I truly believe is possible.

There is this center here in town that teaches meditation and yoga, plus they have this bookstore inside with tons of information on different techniques of meditation and the like. We can't afford the classes right now but in a month or two I am going to sign up and see what I can learn.

In the meantime I am going to research meditation and the beliefs of the Yogi, so that I don't go in sounding like the ignorant American that I am. I also have signed up to receive counseling at local clinic. I have dealt with my bouts of depression on my own for years-however, this last time was different. It was scary, something my depression has never truly been before. It has always been more of an annoyance because I knew I was depressed and I knew that it would eventually end. this last time though, I wasn't so certain.

I want God in my life. I want to be in-tune to God, nature, my soul, people around me, the world around me. I want to believe that there is a higher purpose, a higher call for all of us. I need to believe that. I need to believe that we are all connected and that there is a chance at peace. I desire, above all else, to have peace of mind. To just sit and be still. To have everything around me slow down and be silent. To be at peace with who I am, where I am, what I have, who I have. I want love and peace and silence.

My heart aches at the thought...